By ROB LAMBERTS
, MD
Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday. Christmas is great, but the commercialization of it has largely spoiled it. Thanksgiving seems to be the one holiday that has remained as it was when I was young: a time to be with family and friends, and a time to reflect on the good things in life.
Yet I know for a lot of my patients and readers, finding feelings of thankfulness is difficult or impossible. I see pain and loss that is hard to understand. Thanksgiving is looked at my most as a time to thank God for the good in life, but to those who suffer, God seems to have it out for them, or to be ignoring them completely. To many, Thanksgiving is a sad reminder of happier times.
A boy in my children’s school died suddenly last week of an anemia caused by his body attacking his red blood cells. It came suddenly, and it happened swiftly. One day he was a normal 14 year-old kid, and a week later he was dead.
I have friends who are going through divorces, who have lost close family members, or who are dealing with inner demons that make celebration very difficult.
Some patients have physical pain so bad that they can’t even sleep, while others have only a few months to live.
Happy Thanksgiving?
So how do we deal with this reality? How do we look at the our lives in light of those around us? Should we feel guilty for our blessings? Should we ignore those in pain? Those are hard questions with different answers for different people. But one thing I do know is that we should not ignore reality. We can’t pretend life is a sit-com that will work out in the end. That does an injustice to the pain of those suffering – perhaps more of an injustice than the pain itself.
Here are some of my personal observations regarding these questions. They are in no way the complete answer (I am sure readers will add their wisdom to this), but it’s helpful for me to put them down. I hope it helps some of you.
1. I am most thankful for my giving. The fact that I have been able to make a mark in people’s lives, to help them in their hard times, to be the person they needed when life was falling apart, is an incredible honor. Any thing we possess can be taken from us, but what we have done for others is ours forever. The simple fact that I can help people in their suffering lets me be thankful for what I have.
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