Health Tech

Don’t want my age revealed…

By LISA SUENNEN & MATTHEW HOLT

Yesterday it was Fortune’s 40 under 40, and a lot of great people, most of whom I thought were much older or at least seem to have been around a while, got listed in the health care section–including Andre Blackman, Ambar Bhattacharyya & Julia Cheek. Lisa Suennen (@venturevalkyrie) and I got into a Twitter exchange about whether we were eligible for the under 40 category or for that matter the category above that. The answer was, amazingly, “no”. Somehow she came out with the line that “we are old”. Knowing her love for 80s pop, I reminded her that this was the inverse of the first line of the Pat Benatar classic “Love is a Battlefield.” Somehow this ended up in us tweeting a new set of lyrics for that song to each other all day. Of course I feel compelled to share them with you. I encourage you to play the video below and sing along!

We are old
Wheelchair to wheelchair we sit….
No Promise ring, yes Depends
Don’t want my age revealed

Before Long
They will all sing our swan song
Scans of our hearts show something wrong
Both of us slowing..
Don’t want my age revealed

Ads begging me to Ro
Then making me pay
Why do my knees hurt so bad?
It would help me to know
Should I stand a different way?
My hip hurts too, I might add

Deceive me
Relieve me
It just makes me cry
But I’m trapped on this sofa and
Pushing my Philips LifeLine

We are old
Wheelchair to wheelchair we sit….
No Promise ring, yes Depends
Don’t want my age revealed…

Before Long
They will all sing our swan song
Scans of our hearts show something wrong
Both of us slowing..
DONT want my age revealed

When I lose bladder control
Will you turn me around?
Or just give me a ride,
and because we are old,
will I remember your name,
or just say you’re “some guy”?

But as we get much older
I will need geritol
And if my heart surrenders
Paddles, you’ll need to hold

We are old.
Walker to walker we stand.
Hey you kids –
Get off my Land.
Loving my early bird meal.

We are old
Walker to walker we stand.
Hey you kids -Get off my Land.
Muffin tops showing
Loving my early bird meal.

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