Hi. I’m fat. I’m what most people call an in-betweenie—I have a heavy build, I wear plus sizes, my stomach poofs out, I have folds of fat along my back, I have chubby arms and legs. I can still buy clothes off the rack at a lot of stores, though.
Don’t rush to tell me I’m not ‘that kind’ of fattie or you’re ‘not talking about [me]‘ when you’re going on about how much you worry for fat people, though. We all know that you’re thinking of me, that when you think of fat people, my double chin comes to mind, my wobbling upper arms, my thighs broad in my jeans, my big ass. I’m fat. It’s okay. You can say it. I don’t have a problem with it.
I have a lot of issues with my body, but my size isn’t really one of them. It is what it is. The reasons I’m fat are complicated and not really your business. And yeah, I am unhealthy, and the reasons for that aren’t your business either, although I know you want to rush to assume that I’m unhealthy because I’m fat.
I don’t have an obligation to be healthy, actually, and I don’t have an obligation to rush to assure you that I’m a ‘good fatty’ with great cholesterol and good scores on other health indicators allegedly related to weight. I don’t have an obligation to tell you that fat isn’t correlated with health because I shouldn’t have to justify the existence of fat people by informing you that you don’t understand how fat bodies work, and you’re not familiar with the latest studies on fatness, morbidity and mortality, health indicators, and social trends.
Because fat people have a right to exist, healthy or unhealthy, and this whole argument about health is a red herring. It suggests that if only fat people could prove that fat and health aren’t coupled, they’d be okay. Society is just concerned for us—worried that we’ll be felled too soon, taking our glorious minds into the ground with us to rot, all because we were fat and we refused to take personal responsibility for our fatness.
Here’s the thing, though: fat people have a right to exist, no matter what their health status is, and their health status is both not your business and not evidence to be used when determining whether they should be found wanting. Fatness is just a characteristic, one with which many people have a complex relationship because it’s socially loaded. Your judgement about fat has not been requested, nor is it required.
Let me tell you something about being fat: we know we’re fat, okay? We are in fact aware of the size noted in the tags of our clothes, we know how we occupy furniture. Sometimes we crack jokes about being fat because, well, sometimes being fat is funny. Sometimes being fat is fun. Sometimes we know people feel uncomfortable because we’re fat and we want to set them at ease. Sometimes we feel tremendous pressure to get people to treat us like human beings so we play the jolly fat person role to make ourselves into someone you have to engage with, rather than an object you can loathe.
And we spend our whole lives being told that everyone is worried for us. Don’t we know fat is unhealthy? Aren’t we worried about dying early? Have we talked to a doctor about our fat? Have we considered diet and exercise? How will you ever find a partner? You aren’t actually the first person to ask us any of these questions, and you probably won’t be the last. Because the thing is, when you’re fat, you know, your body seems to become part of the public commons, something for everyone to comment on. You are no longer yourself, an autonomous person who is allowed to drift through the world doing your own thing.
Here’s the thing: I think, between you and me, that you can drop the facade. You’re not worried about my health. If the health of strangers was a valid concern for you, you’d be more careful about where you blew your cigarette smoke. You wouldn’t have almost run down that skateboarder waiting to cross the curb. You’d help that poor woman struggling to load those heavy sacks of chicken scratch at the feed store. You’d cover your mouth when you cough to reduce the spread of infectious organisms.
This isn’t about my health as an individual, about your concerns for what society might lose if I drop dead. This is about the fact that you think I’m kind of gross. It’s okay. You can say it. You’re socialised to think that fat people are disgusting, to find my fat rolls hideous. You’re taught to cringe at the sight of my belly jiggling in a tight shirt, to believe that double chins are ugly and unpleasant to look at.
You’re taught that people like me are slow and stupid, that we don’t deserve to be treated like human beings. You’re taught that fat, on its own, is intrinsically, inherently bad. It takes a lot of work to overcome social conditioning, and often people try to dodge their conditioning by hiding it with something else. You want to tell me that you don’t care about my weight, you’re just ‘concerned.’
But you do care about my weight. My weight is the problem. I’m fat. That upsets you. The fact that I don’t care that I’m fat and don’t particularly care what you think about my fat upsets you even more. I’m breaking the rules. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not.
Be honest with yourself, if no one else: you’re bothered by fatness because it disgusts you, not because you’re worried for the health of your fellow humans. Now push yourself a little harder, please: why does fat disgust you?
S.E. Smith is a writer and editor who lives in Northern California. This post originally appeared on Smith’s personal website, This Ain’t Livin’, on October 18, 2013.
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and tbh your fatness IS a problem for everyone! not only for people on airplaines or busses but for the medical system too. i don’t know how it works in nations where the medical system is private, but where it’s a national thing, my money goes for your medications (but this is true also for smokers and junkies). and your fattness is also a problem for nurses who have to lift you – i heard stories of nurses who blew their backs in the effort of moving fat ospedalized ppl BUT…. to me this is all secondary really. it’s honestly kust the sight of fat ppl that gross me out. i just can’t stand them
i am honest: i am disgusted by fat people. like physically disgusted. i’s never discriminate or call names on a fat person, i know it’s a bad thing. i don’t even think you’re lazy or anything else really, i know that many fat ppl have traumas or some shit goin on. but the simple fact is that fat ppl just disgust me as i’d be disgusted by looking at something ugly like a dead splattered animal on the asphalt. i expecially hate fat females who dresses like they don’t even notice those lard rolls on their back *gags* or those who want to make being fat a normal thing. no damit, being fat is not normal and healty!! fat people shouldn’t be discriminated fut for god’s sake, stop pretending it’s fine. i hate fat people and even more i hate fat acceptance movements
All fat is gross & disgusting, period. So looking at it is too. And you huge tubs of lard are grotesque.
Do some damn ‘push ups’. As in; push yourself away from the table, stand up & walk away.
Its not a complicated equation. You people obviously don’t need to eat everythng you shove into your fat faces. So just stop eating so damn much.
I just think your gross, fat people are all the same. They all get angry 2 hours after breakfast if they don’t have a snack, breath excessively, sweat a lot, can’t make it upstairs without sounding like they are about to die, obsess over food and thoughts of food through the day, tax the healthcare systems of the world, wear out the struts on whichever side of your vehicle they sit in, have a way higher carbon footprint, are lazy, give in to their baser instincts with no control.
But
They constantly see food advertisement in virtually everything, most doctors are not even equipped to tell a rabbit how to eat let alone a human, foods are literally designed by human to trigger the brain to seek out that same food over and over like a drug, the healthcare industry makes a lot of money off of obese people so there simply are not enough doctors in it to truly fix the cause of obesity. The above is a recipe that basically ensures the obesity epidemic will continue, absolutely. I am a sort of recovered anorexic, fat people truly do repulse me.
Ur nasty asf
I don’t think people learn to be offed by fatness. I think it is so natural. The oldest of natural reactions. “This mate doesn’t seem healthy. Me no breed:. It’s nature
What I do think is taught, is being mean and making jokes about it privately with children or friends. If anything people really should be compassionate.
When you say.m I’m fat cos non of your business.. its hard to go off of more than natural reactions if peoole aren’t taught compassion
I’ve gained 60 lbs in the last two years due to a spine that is deteriorating. It started when I was 28. When
I had 6 pack abs.
I’ve survived rape and drug abuse. Childhood neglect. All three of those things send some people into where I am understandably. Luckily, those things didn’t stop me.
However, my disability did. For years before diagnoses.. hundreds of blood tests.. many specialists.. many physical therapist.. mris.. x-rays… no one would prescribe me pain medicine. I still am not. Although I am about 2 steps away from my doctor helping me.
The point is, I stuffed myself with an over the counter analgesic, alcohol. Terrible but takes the pain away considerably.
However I have worked so hard for the last 2 years getting help. Saving. Researching..im almost 8 weeks away from seeing a team of surgeons. If I’m not crying 24-7 in pain anymore maybe I will stop the alcohol, and be able to burn more than I consume in calories. Its crazy too because I’ve had like 600-800 calories a day for two years but th3 only pain relief I get is from alcohol. And even vodka and soda some hie adds up like mad.
Yes. Fat people are gross and hard to look at. Especially when they wear tight or revealing clothing. Its pretty disgusting. Sorry i feel this way. Truth though.
The truth is I’ve seen the end game of obesity and it isn’t pretty – diabetes, congestive heart failure, bones that fracture just under a patient’s weight. Granted, many of these patients are morbidly obese, but they are unhealthy and unable to live good, productive lives. I’m overweight and I know I should lose some pounds just for myself and my own health. Being fat isn’t okay if you want to be healthy especially as you get older.
The ideas in this article were very well articulated, and having been fat myself, I completely concur that a disproportionate number of well-wishers – those who express concern about our weight – have a bias that they aren’t owning up to. That said, I can tell you that once I lost 40 pounds (believe me, it was no easy task), I was able to ditch my blood pressure medication, my cholesterol medication, my asthma medication, and my OTC antacids. All that medication and the extra doctor’s visits cost money – a lot of it. And not just my money, but other people’s too. Insurance companies exist to make a profit, and when more people are unhealthy, rates go up. The cost of healthcare has taken a huge toll on our economy and people are being priced out of access to some of the most basic services. So, I suppose, as a fat person, I could make the issue all about me and tell everyone else that it’s my problem, period. But the reality is that individuals do not exist in a vaccuum. We are a part of an interdependent society, and our chronic illnesses are becoming a substantial burden to the healthcare system. That’s handing people a reason to judge on a silver platter. As fat people, whether we’re gross is a matter of opinion. That we are expensive to support is a matter of fact, and we need to come to grips with that.
Yes it is bad.
Quit preachiing. It is only to make you feel good.
His life.
He knows.
It is none of anyone else’s business.
Quit fear-mongering.