By MATTHEW HOLT

It’s hard to imagine but I may now be in possession of the stupidest letter I’ve ever received from an American health insurance company–-and I’m the guy who got five identical letters on one day from Blue Shield of California telling me that they had changed my primary care doctor when I had initiated the change.

A little backstory.  As those you’ve been following along with my various telenovelas may remember that last year I was diagnosed with a failing heart valve.  I also have a failing left knee due mostly to snowboarding into a tree 24 years ago.

I was attempting to put off doing anything about the heart valve for as long as possible because it sounds painful and unpleasant, and I was hoping that I could go ahead with a knee replacement so that my snowboarding can continue apace. My doctors are at UC San Francisco and they agreed that I should have the knee replacement on July 6th, assuming that my heart valve had not got much worse. On June 16th I went into UCSF for a bunch of knee replacement pre-workup and they also checked my heart.

However, my new insurance company, thanks to my wife’s new job, is Cigna. Those of you in California may know that Cigna was having a big dispute with the University of California Health system and that its contract with them was due to expire on June the 30th of this year. Why a health plan and a big provider organization have contracts that expire in the middle of the year when the employers and people who use the health plan network buy them on an annual basis starting in January I don’t know –  and it’s ridiculously stupid. But let’s not get distracted cause I’m not talking about that here!

Because of the fact that they’d be out of network, the ortho team made the obvious suggestion that I move the knee replacement a little earlier, In fact it was planned for June the 22nd. This did not upset me too much as you may have seen that some corrupt Italians have organized a soccer tournament that would give me plenty of games on TV to be entertained by while I was lying around recovering.

Sadly one of the pretests I had on June 16th was an echocardiogram that indicated that my heart valve was in even worse shape than it had been earlier in the year.  After quite a lot of back and forth between the cardiac team, the knee team and the anesthesia team, everyone agreed to put off the knee surgery until we figured out my heart.

Meanwhile sometime late on Thursday the 25th or early on Friday the 26th of June, UC Health and Cigna stepped back from the brink and came to an agreement that will continue the UC system being in Cigna’s network.

Which all brings me to July 6th when I received a letter from Cigna

This is the one that contains more stupidity per square inch than any other communication I’ve had from an insurance company.