By DEEKSHA HEGDE

I had an itch to draw parallels between the two. The structural facts kept lining up in ways I couldn’t dismiss, and by the end, I stopped trying.

Function’s product is an app: you pay $365 a year, go to a Quest Diagnostics location, get 160+ biomarkers tested twice a year, and receive clinician-written notes interpreting your results. The lab testing is fully outsourced. Function is the layer on top: panel design, member experience, clinician note generation, longitudinal tracking.

Function Health raised $298 million at a $2.5 billion valuation in November 2025. At 25x revenue, the market clearly isn’t buying a lab reseller. It’s buying the data flywheel: longitudinal biomarker histories that compound in clinical value over time, aggregated across hundreds of thousands of members into a dataset that health plans, pharma companies, and AI developers can’t build any other way. A member with four years of data can’t switch to a cheaper competitor without losing the trend. The unit economics work if the interpretation layer scales without proportionally scaling headcount, which is what the Medical Intelligence Lab, their generative AI model launched in November 2025, is built to do. Function is also building toward a B2B enterprise channel, positioning the product as a way to keep employees “healthy, focused, and ready to perform.”

It satisfies a burning need for specific personas: the worried well, the health optimizers, the people who saw their loved ones get diagnosed a little too late, the people who aren’t waiting for a diagnosis before they start paying attention. These are people the rest of the industry has mostly left alone. I wrote earlier this year, in a piece on Hinge Health, about the prevention paradox: the employer ROI model is structurally blind to the member who benefits most from early intervention. Function skips the employer ROI story entirely, charges the member directly, and doesn’t try to prove a CFO case it can’t make. Yet.